My friend's father died today. Lots of thoughts came to my mind...
In a sense, now, he probably feels alone. He's not currently in a relationship. His mother is not alive.
His father's health had been declining. So, as this outcome was logically expected, it was very tough on my friend. In our conversations I noticed the pressures he was under. As much as I could, I tried to be available for him...which, in my opinion, hasn't been enough: I haven't been able to "help myself", therefore I haven't been able to provide a lot of help to others. I have been unemployed for over four years, have no transportation, and don't have my own residence.
Before his father died, I asked my friend if he and his parents/father had conversations that needed to be before it's too late to have them...if all that should be said has been. A lot of those conversations never happen for people. I have never met my father (Franz Ray). I have been trying to locate and contact him, and any siblings and other relatives I have. I fear my father will die before we get to meet and talk...
By their choice, I have estranged relationships with some of my children. Because I've been told that's what they truly want, I'm OK with that. There are some members of your family you will never be friends with, and some friends you consider "family".
A few years ago I lost a friend by the name of Wally. In a very short amount of time, he and I came to be very close. (We both liked to joke and be silly, and were not "polically correct"...especially to eachother.) Wally had trouble with alcohol. We had talked about it...he had been in rehab...lost his job...needed to have a breathalizer installed in his vehicle. It seemed he drank when he was alone, and lonliness had a lot to do with him drinking, so I had hoped we could find a place together...work together and build a (production) company...get some (radio) gigs. The booze got to him before I could.
I had a couple of friends who were married. There were problems in their marriages, and they were able to work through them and stay together. Something I envy.
Whether you know me or not, this is a message and warning to all: I don't want anyone to regret when/if they had an opportunity to...interact...with someone, but chose not to because of pride, stubborness, promises/oaths, fear, and other reasons that "prove your point" or causes you to "win the fight/arguement/confrontation". Is it truly important? If so, and you can live with your decision for the rest of your life, only you know what's best for you. If not...if there is any slight chance of doubt...it might/could haunt you for the rest of your life, and that of other members of your family.
I've experienced that a lot of things have been said, but not meant...or, not meant "forever". Because I have never liked to be picked-on, teased, and "played-with"...I've taken what has been said to me with great seriousness. Maybe sometimes too serious, but some people joke and "play" too much...they don't know when to stop. Some have tried to manipulate people (and me) with words and emotions. So, those experiences has pushed me to the other extreme: you say it, I tend to respond as it was presented. I've been told to leave, but when I did, they complained that I left. It's been said to me, "I will kick your ass"...so, I planned to strike first. It's been said to me, "I'll kill you"...so, I made plans to do so to them before they do so to me. She said she wanted a divorce, so I planned for it...and later learned she said it to get a response from me (to get me to "fight" for the marriage...all that did was to confuse me). I don't believe in supporting stress and "drama" in relationships.
Say what you mean/mean what you say, spend time with those you want to, get to know those you want to know, love (and show love to) those who love you...BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
