Texts From Last Night, book review

Get ready for "the funny"...

I received a copy of the new book "Texts From Last Night: All the Texts No One Remembers Sending" which has entries from the website TextsFromLastNight.com. It was published in January...

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"...We started Texts From Last Night for our friends in February 2009. We opened it up to the public in April...

"Our book is the magnum opus of our website. As told through texts, the book has a Relationship Timeline, a Hookup Flowchart and a Choose Your Own Adventure section. We also have categories of texts such as 'Gay Pride', 'The Morning After' and 'Phone Mishaps'.

"We went through every page of our site to find the absolute funniest texts for the book. Then we went through every text ever submitted (at the time was something like 1.1 million of them)..."

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In the introduction of the book, we find that the reason...

"...we founded TFLN for reasons that include: Kwame Kilpatrick...old flings...repeatedly closing down bars and leaving old tabs open...

"...by pressing the send button a little too liberally. Those fuzzy memories used to live on in our inboxes until we ran out of room or we hit 'delete'."

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It gets off to a great start...the first text message is interesting and entertaining. All of the entries are good, until the fourth page...where one caused me to laugh out loud.

Here are a few entries that will illustrate how entertained I was:

"the read head has a bf"
"just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score"

"u cheatin on me?"
"if i did i would try to upgrade babe"

"Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not the colorful stuff I wear."

"Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide"

"im at a bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer just made the decision for me...be home soon"

"That's not how I planned it, it's just the way she passed out"

"my mouth tastes like poor choices"

"When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years."

"Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty."

"Boobs are like coupons for free stuff"

"But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions."

Some of the entries were educational. For example, I've seen "happy trails", but never knew that was the name for them...

Some of the content is for adults , and very graphic...and very funny!

Since it consists of text messages, this book is great for those moments when you have nothing to do and some time to kill: you can begin to read it , and stop, at anytime.

With only 192 pages, this book will fit in a pocket (8.26 x 5.23 inches). And there are eBook formats.

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And, there's an (iPhone) app for that.

I've heard that a television show might be next...I'm (still) waiting on a response from Adam Sandler's production company, Happy Madison, to find the status of a situation-comedy they might be producing for FOX Broadcasting.

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"Texts From Last Night: All the Texts No One Remembers Sending" is published by the Penguin Group.

There are Facebook, and Twitter, accounts.

"Beer in Hell" book is worth reading/owning

I received a copy of the book I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell from the assistant to Tucker Max. (Thanks, Ian...)

Tucker Tibor Max put together a bunch of short stories about his life. (Due to the success of the book, a movie of the same title was made.) This isn't just any old regular boring biography...created in 2002, his website sets the stage for the stories he tells:

"My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.

"I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.

"But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way. I share my adventures with the world..."

I already like this guy...you know what you're gonna get before you get it. Now, it's up to you to walk away...or deal with it.

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According to posts on Max's website:

"...The stories are true, but they are from over 10 years of partying...

"...these stories are not perfect forensic accounts of everything that happens to me all the time. They are my best recollections of events that usually occur when I am drunk, edited down to the best, most entertaining parts...(sometimes I have to intentionally change details to avoid jail), but the basic facts are all true...

"...The three stories that seem to get the most drawback are The Austin Roadtrip Story, The Buttsex Story and The Absinthe Donuts Story...

"The Absinthe Donuts Story: ...This was written the day after it happened, and I thought I'd get in trouble...so I changed a bunch of details...it wasn't a donut shop..It was chain that sells food...I guess the problem is that some people don't believe that could happen without a police report being filed, and I should provide that as evidence.

"...if a police report existed, I would not fucking provide it because then I'd have to fucking take responsibility for the crime, pay for it, and good forbid be liable for jail time.

"...either you can believe it or not..."

I like his attitude. (As a child) I stopped trying to convince people to believe that I was telling the truth: it was a lot of effort for people who just weren't worth it. When you tell the truth, and are not believed...what else do you have to work with? You loose. And how important is it that a particular person believes you, anyway?

Some people will frown upon the actions of this asshole...but not me: the people that allowed him to behave they way he has can be just as guilty for feeding the animal. (A very long time ago I seemed to have lost my ability to be shocked and horrified: I know of too many things people have done that are very much not "normal" and against conservative morals. And, trying to be very liberal regarding some lifestyle choices and activities, I just try to "live and let live".)

For many years I've been looking forward to writing books about my personal and professional lives. Some won't believe the stories, and other will be appalled to know of some things I have been aware of, done and participated in. But, as this book is, I'm sure it'll be good reading...

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I read the first story in the book, "The Famous Sushi Pants Story", and decided to not read the entire book and then post a review. Because these are short stories, and I expect the rest of the stories to be formatted as "Sushi Pants" was, you should be able to read a story when you need to kill some time...and then put down the book and do something else. Buy the book, and keep it handy for those types of times during a day.

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In 2003, he posted an account of his relationship with 1999's "Miss Vermont". She filed a lawsuit stating that her privacy had been invaded, and a judge ordered Max to not write about her. Later, the former "Miss Vermont" dismissed the lawsuit. (Again, I say: at various times, someone fed the "monster"...)

A page on his website I love is the "Date Application": he's up-front about his likes, dislikes, and expectations that hopefully will save him...and other women...a lot of wasted time from having to do what I call the "date dance" (where we spend a lot of unnecessary time with eachother to later find that it really wasn't worth it).

I don't "date"...never have. I've spent time with women...doing "something", and doing "nothing"...but that's it. When I've taken a woman to a movie, it's because one or both of us wanted to see it. When I've taken a woman out to eat it's because one or both of us were hungry, or wanted to try the food at the joint. To feel as if I needed to create an event and spend money to spend time with someone has always been the first sign that I need to reconsider what kind of relationship I should be having with that person. I think this is where Max and I kinda think alike. (You can imagine my attitude towards "Valentine's Day"...and Christmas...I'm more lenient when it comes to birthdays, unless you EXPECT me to get a present.)

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Max founded Rudius Media, an internet-based publishing outlet and management firm. It has closed. Too bad...I would have been VERY interested to see what projects might have come from them...

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I haven't had a chance to see the movie based on the book...the website for the movie is http://www.ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com

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His Twitter account is http://twitter.com/tuckermax, and his MySpace account is http://www.myspace.com/TuckerMax

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Before IHTSBiH (I'm too damn lazy to type the entire title, and even copy and past...yet still write enough verbage that takes up more space than doing the former would) he wrote two other books. The Definitive Book of Pick-Up Lines, and Belligerence and Debauchery: The Tucker Max Stories. He explains: "They are out of print, on purpose. I took B&D out of print because it was nothing more than reprints of stories already on my site. I took The Definitive Book of Pick-Up Lines out of print because it was fairly amateurish, and I didn't want my name on it without substantially improving it. I think you can get these used in some places, but I would NOT recommend buying either. B&D is all on my site, and the pick-up line book is kinda crappy..."

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/print/answers_to_ques.phtml

http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/entries/date/my_old_books.phtml

There might be a sequel to I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, titled Assholes Finish First. I'm looking forward to it, and I've only read one story of IHTSBiH! Get IHTSBiH now and you won't need to try to catch-up when his new book is available.